Sunday, July 27, 2014

Hate

There's countless times of me wanting to post this and that for the last 19 months yet I've never had the chance to do so, not until today, who knew the only thing that could push me this far to even be starting to write again here is anger.

Just anger, and disappointment.

When it's just too much to handle, you just feel like letting it all out but you know people wouldn't care, even if they did, what could they possibly do to change things. That's when you turn to the only thing there is, writing. You write, you let it out, even if it's not everything, not all the details, its enough, knowing you're the only one who knows whats up, whats the feeling.

At one point, you're just so tired of trying. Trying to be good. The only one around who actually is trying. Having the good intention of being good, when they always end up not appreciating what you do, assuming shits about you, every single time. Why. Why have all that negative thoughts plant in the head, assuming stuff, thinking they know everything when they don't, thinking you're lying when you're not, where is all of this coming from, where did all the trust go. Might as well I just stop whatever I'm doing, since it feels pretty much pointless now.

Whatever. Its just stupid. Disappointing. Not sure how long I can keep up with this.

No heartshapes tonight. Not this time.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Come Sempre


You know how people always wish for a better new year on new year's eve, and majority of them still complain it sucked at the end of the year. Every single time.

I wish for the same thing, hoping that next year would be better than 2012, but at the same time I'm thankful for all the good little things that happened throughout the year.

It's the last day of 2012, and no doubt I had a pretty unpredictable year. The first nine months were spent mostly at home with my family, working with my sisters, chillin' with my buddies, etc. And for the last 4 months was different. New friends, new place, new course, new busy schedule, new routine, new environment.. yeah everything was kind of new to me. Very overwhelming, indeed. Despite all the negative things, I'm really glad I've met a bunch of great people along the way, they made it all worth it. To those who were always there for me, thank you. Friends were made, and lost. Memories were made and will never be forgotten. Mistakes were made, different challenges, problems were faced and lessons learned.

All I can say is, it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, and it's coming to an end. Well not really, of course there's still next year. So buckle up guys, life is full of ups and downs, always expect the unexpected.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

A Fresh Start


Wow, it's been more than four months since the last time I posted something here. I guess I just broke my own record of days without blogging today. Actually, months. Not sure if people still check my blog lately, but I miss writing random stuff. The only social network that I can keep up with these days is Twitter.

I've been waiting for my university enrolment day for months, and now it's just a few days away. Mixed feelings strike again, anxious excited sad happy terrified all in one, ahh. Even though I'll be pursuing my studies a hundred-plus miles away from home, I'm still glad I got in, good to know the long hours of waiting for my interview really paid off. Most of my friends are already busy with college life, so it's about time I get myself busy too, a new refreshing environment and experience is what I need. It might not be as awesome as Hogwarts but oh well. 

Let's just hope for the best and prepare for worst :)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

See The Light


Life has been good to me so far, even though there are times when I feel so bored at home without any productive things to do, that's when I really do miss my high school and my mates the most. But well you know, it's time for a new chapter in my life and there's no turning back.

After being through a few bumpy rides this year, I was reminded again of how blessed I am to have such a supportive family, there are no words to describe the feeling you get when you know that the people you love are always there for you and still proud of you. Whenever I'm nervous, scared, or sad, they'll be there. No doubt my bestfriends are amazing too, that's why they are called my 'best' friends, because they're the best. Lol. I wouldn't change any of them for the world, really.

Another good news is, I finally have my own driving license, yay! Hollaaa, of course I'm happy, hehe. And I'm so glad that my interview for the course I'm applying is over and done with, I waited for my turn to be called in for almost 8 hours at the University last Sunday. Imagine how tired I was during the interview, ah.

I'll be posting a few new sketches I've done recently, soon! :)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Shivers


A month has passed since my last post and now it's finally March, the month that I've been waiting for has arrived. SPM results will be out on the 22nd of March and even though I'm feeling anxious as hell, I prefer to just get it over and done with. Trying so hard not to freak out because it's not like I can change it any other way in the end. If I had a time machine, I could though. All I can do know is just pray for the best.

There's another 21 days before the big day comes, 21 days to make some difficult decisions, and 21 days to figure things out. What I really want. What I want to be. Where I want to go. Decision-making can be hard for me. I tend to over think things sometimes, but that's just who I am. I even get a little envious seeing some people just have all these natural confidence, true talent and so passionate about things. They know exactly what they want right? So hopefully I'm on the right track too.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to college life and meeting new people along the way. Can't wait to experience a whole new chapter in my life :)