Sunday, July 27, 2014


There's countless times of me wanting to post this and that for the last 19 months yet I've never had the chance to do so, not until today, who knew the only thing that could push me this far to even be starting to write again here is anger.

Just anger, and disappointment.

When it's just too much to handle, you just feel like letting it all out but you know people wouldn't care, even if they did, what could they possibly do to change things. That's when you turn to the only thing there is, writing. You write, you let it out, even if it's not everything, not all the details, its enough, knowing you're the only one who knows whats up, whats the feeling.

At one point, you're just so tired of trying. Trying to be good. The only one around who actually is trying. Having the good intention of being good, when they always end up not appreciating what you do, assuming shits about you, every single time. Why. Why have all that negative thoughts plant in the head, assuming stuff, thinking they know everything when they don't, thinking you're lying when you're not, where is all of this coming from, where did all the trust go. Might as well I just stop whatever I'm doing, since it feels pretty much pointless now.

Whatever. Its just stupid. Disappointing. Not sure how long I can keep up with this.

No heartshapes tonight. Not this time.